Orange Juice Blues

I have decided, after this many years on the planet, living in ignorance, that I finally understand the importance of a morning routine.

Now, I have long since come to terms with the fact that I will never again function at full capacity if, for some reason, I do not get a cup of tea in the morning. Ok, so maybe it's not as cool as those who need three cups of black coffee before motor functions kick in, but each to their own.

This for many years was, unfortunately, all I had in terms of the morning routine; probably something to do with the truly unpredictable fluctuation of my wake-up time.

However, the more I try to stabilise my daily process the more I'm discovering just what it is that gets me up and about, and, remarkably, what sets the tone for the rest of my day. Now, this is by no means regular yet, but if I've found that if I hit the following checklist then I seem to be on a lovely trajectory upwards for the succeeding hours until I go to bed.

1) For the ungluing of the eyelids: As well as a cup of tea, a glass of orange juice has become essential. Vitamin C rocks my world.

2) For the clearing of the haze: A walk to the shop - this ticks off purchasing a pastry item for breakfast and a paper, it also gives me the fresh air so dangerously lacking in the stench vacuum that is my room.

3) For getting the nervous system fizzing: After a shower, frustrate myself by attempting to check emails on the most erratic internet connection you can imagine (It's also the most pedantic connection as it won't suffice in just giving me the 'Could not open page' message but will make a big song and dance of pretending it's trying its best, leading to a stalemate in which I am always the one who gives up first). NB: This will often lead to indecent exposure toward any unsuspecting (well, the first few times, now it's a given) neighbours as I jump up furious, inevitably dropping my towel, flashing my junk for all the borough to see.

4) For human contact: Wake up my flatmate who works evenings and won't open his eyes until he's brought a cup of coffee (3 spoons 3 sugars) and a cigarette. He then goes about his own routine. NB: 'Human' is a very relative term.

After this, I am ready to face whatever the day has to not so much throw as fling at me like an ape in a cage (this is truly the state of my relationship with life)

Now, all I need to do is work on making this habit. Tomorrow will be better I swear.