Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Niederdorf?

I was recently told by a friend that watching so much House M.D had persuaded him to quit smoking due to the terrible fear he felt upon finding a perfectly innocuous lump in his throat.

I disagree.

If House has taught me anything, it's not that being healthier is a good way to improve your chances of making it through to the next morning.

No.

It's that anything can kill you at anytime in a horrifying smörgåsbord of different ways, and you never know where it's going to come from because everything in your environment is potentially lethal.

It must be like living in Australia.

So why worry?

It's only the same as everything in this world being unarguably temporary thus rendering life inherently meaningless - assuming, of course, that there is no God, which would be the one way of preventing everything being so futile, but then the world is making it increasingly difficult by the day to have faith in that prospect, isn't it?

Yeah, scary right?

Quite the opposite.

Even God knows how many months after the dynamic return of the late Wispa they are still running ad campaigns in shops announcing its comeback.

'Back by Popular Demand'?

Who are these people demanding the return of a completely arbitrary snack (Aeros are exactly the same!) that is more air than chocolate. Just buy a Dairy Milk, it's the same chocolate but with more chocolate!

Also, how bad does your chocolate bar have to be selling in order to take it off the market? A Cadbury's product at that! How often do top range chocolate items get taken off the shelves? (unless they're Boost Guarana's and there has to be a government health intervention...sob)

Perhaps they were taken away with the express intention of bringing them back. That's even worse.

Could Wispas really have been that essential to the snacking world, and could that many people have been phoning, writing and emailing in their droves, campaigning for the return of their fave choco-snack, when 90% of the people I've asked didn't even realise it was gone?

FUDGE THIS NOISE

What's in a name?

Quick note: The BBC's coverage of the US election last Tuesday appeared to think that the term 'blogger' was too colloquial and subsequently changed it half way through the night to 'Citizen Journalist'. That's funny right? I laughed.

Raiders of the Lost Blog

So, I just found my old blog that I set up in Canada, and, seeing as we're a blogging nation these days (a country of Joe Blogg's if you will? A-thankyou) thought you may want to see how far I've come since the heady days of my gap year. Clue: I was funnier, had bad taste but better grasp of grammar. http://myyearasacanadian.blogspot.com/

Curse of the Third Man

So, I chose this layout because it looks all cool and cowboy - kind of like a wild-west 'Wanted' poster - maybe that means it looks like my thoughts are 'Wanted'? Like Jesse James. Perhaps not...

So, I'm in the library, and I've been here for hours now, and I'm supposed to be writing an academic review for 6 Characters in Search of an Author (which was REALLY good so stop hating on it) as coursework and all I can do is stare at this writing that someone's done on the wall of my little library cubicle that says 'THE THIRD MAN WAS HERE' and that might be Orson Welles or something, or it could be something else, but I don't know, and the fact that it's consuming more of my interest than the coursework I'm here to do is pretty depressing. On a positive note it clearly means I can type without looking now, and that's so many different kinds of good...

So, I woke up this morning for the first time since I can remember and I wasn't pissed off. And, luckily, that didn't make me feel bad that it implied that I was pissed off all the time but just really good because I wasn't pissed off. I've been ill for a few days, and that sucks, I've soaked through about 4 t-shirts with fever, drunk about 7 litres of apple and mango fruit juice and sent a number of delirious texts to various unsuspecting friends and family members. But - hey - I feel good. I stuck on a bit of Sigur Ros, I ate a sugar cube (which I almost never do), and I thought about the play and I tidied my room a bit and felt alright. Maybe even alright enough for a cigarette. So that's good. Right?...

So, I'm not sure how to write these blogs but I think if I just write how I'd be talking or thinking. But sometimes I think faster than I can write and I miss out unimportant words, like 'the' and 'and' and 'shut'...

So, why can't my blog writing be as funny as my texts - is it because I have more characters?